Overwhelm
I recently had one of those days.
I was feeling tapped out and overwhelmed. My 9month old was sick and needing me 24/7. My toddler was missing me. I was missing time to myself.
I had lots of unhelpful thoughts and stories forming such as resentment towards my husband for being off duty overnight (despite the fact he actually woke in the early hours and asked to help), jealous of his freedom to do things without being needed (even though it was just the dishes and other jobs).
While holding my 9month old she spilled up. I tried to find her new pants and there were none clean. I went to put my shoes on to go outside and there was mouse poo all through them (in our porch after being on holiday).
My husband took our baby so I could eat. My toddler claimed this baby free mummy time and was climbing all over me. I stated a boundary and moved away. She followed me. I yelled. I felt guilty knowing she'd been missing me with all the connection our baby needed whilst sick.
This all happened in the space of about 5 minutes.
Later I had a shower and I realised I was having thoughts things will be better when....when everyone is well again, when our house is spotless, when our kids are older, when we earn more money...
AND I caught myself.
Wishing for something different.
Caught in the fantasy that life will be when....XYZ
I teach 'suffering comes when we wish the present moment was different than it is'.
This is my reality. I could embrace and lean in to my current experience or I could resist it and suffer.
So, I reframed some unhelpful thoughts such as I haven't had a break in 48hrs, to, my baby is sick and she may need me constantly for 1 day or 3 but after that she'll be back to her more independent self, for now I'll embrace the cuddles and treated this as an opportunity to slow down and do less.
I acknowledged I was feeling tapped out and tuned in to what I needed. Some exercise, a mood boost via music and to write down what needed to be done and what could wait, letting the rest go. I practiced self compassion by doing less not more that day.
Some of the strategies used included acceptance, acknowledging what was within my control and what's not, some belly breathing, music, exercise outside, reframing and slowing down.
Motherhood is hard and often even finding the time to reflect on a situation to make change is difficult to come by.
Teaching about overwhelm doesn't make me immune to it. What it does do is affords me awareness so I can intervene early. Early awareness when things are bubbling - before they explode. Strategies to manage even when I can't change the demands on me. We need to work, my kids are sick, my house is a mess yet I can navigate this in a state of calm not distress.
If you want to learn more about managing overwhelm in motherhood join our webinar for just $39.
In this webinar, we won't tell you you need more time for self-care. We focus on understand why overwhelm arises, preventing it, early intervening and ways to fill your cup WHILE you are parenting.
